Not An Eagle

gaypeopletwitter:

(via civilwhore)

pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird:

Tracking Service, as helpfully as possible: Your order is out for delivery! It should arrive by 8 PM today!

Me, sitting by the door at 8:12 AM: pakige

(via humorstaff)

pornstarwars:

dad: what are you doing with your life? how are you justifying your existence? 

me: 

(via thecommonchick)

teapotsubtext:

me as a journalist: HOLY SHIT Things Are Fuck

(via hotboyproblems)

andhumanslovedstories:

champagnemoon:

why everybody be tryna act like they didn’t have a twilight phase

You either had a twilight phase or you had an anti-twilight phase and in either case you invested emotion in twilight, your twilight phase

(via rowerowerowe-your-boat)

v3nice:

Being an adult means realizing $1,000 is a lot to pay but so little to have.

(via colourofoctober)

nurseyiiisms:

even if my titties aren’t physically out, they’re spiritually out, and that’s what matters

(via humorstaff)

hard-light-lesbian:

someone: “I guess i just have a lot of unpopular opinions haha”

me: “like are you racist or do you just not like steven universe”

(via hijerking)